trailing movies

Pickup Line Comebacks

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"


source: http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/18.html

Long Time Plans for Intrams

and the loOong wait is FINALLY over... Intramurals is finally rushing in and my excitement is not about my desire to show my athletic skill to the crowd coz I don't even have that at all!! My athletic skills are just nowhere to be found! What I'm most excited about are the number of days that there would be no assignments, tests, awakened-by-the-alarm-of-my-phone-but-still-i-am-late days, till-9-pm laboratory schedules and all those stuff that makes every student shiver..Well I guess, every student deserves a break and the teachers as well!

Now, what am I gonna do with the almost-one-week vacation?? EVERYTHING!!

Plans:
1. update and redecorate my 'Strangeville' village in SIMS2 (it's already been a long time since I used this application. Sort of missed it!)

2. buy new furnitures and decors for the waterworld-inspired room of my pet Azunsion in pet Society

3. level up my points in Restaurant City so I could hire another employee... I'm dying to have one!

4.do my programming activities in my Intelligent Systems subject. I'm still doubtful about this since I can't force myself to have some interest about it but I am still keeping my fingers crossed that by the end of the vacation, I can finish all the activities *cross cross cross*

5.and the rest,I still need to think about! My problem is...lots of things are going into my mind and I am wondering which should come first and least! hmmm... Hope this problem would occur frequently... and not problems that would ask for stressful analysis and solution that should be written on papers *Assembly* *ehem* *Intelligent Systems* *ehem*

Desperate Joke

Student1 had a wound on his index finger..

Student1: "Hala papercut!"

Student2: "Duh, papercut ka dyan! para lang jud naay english imong samad!"

get it??!!

Found At Last!

There's this article that a co-trainee of mine let me read during summer. It was a 3-page article but she only gave me 2 pages for me to read on. I was really thrilled to borrow the last page but I wasn't able to do so just until I filed my resignation letter and never saw my co-trainee again.

The article bugged me again when my Sociology teacher gave us an assignment.. We were given a topic and we need to discuss it in front of the class for 20 points. My discussion was about a characteristic of culture and that is "Culture is shared". The article was then the first thing that came up to my mind since it would be a very effective article to discuss that is somehow related to the discussion. I've been browsing the net for the article since I don't have any contact with my co-trainee and what a joy to fortunately find the article during our illegal use of internet on the laboratory(ssshhh..)

and here's the article that I've been looking for, for hours. It's an article written by a British journalist, Matthew Sutherland who spent six years here in the Philippines. The article was written in the year 1999. It's about his amazement, amusement about our pinoy culture.

A Matter of Taste by Matthew Sutherland

I have now been in this country for over six years, and consider myself in most respects well-assimilated. However, there is one key step on the road to full assimilation which I have yet to take, and that's to eat BALUT. The day any of you sees me eating balut, please call immigration and ask them to issue me a Filipino passport. At that point there will be no turning back.

BALUT, for those still blissfully ignorant non-Pinoys out there, is a fertilized duck egg. It is commonly sold with salt in a piece of newspaper, much like English fish and chips, by street vendors usually after dark, presumably so you can't see how gross it is. It's meant to be an aphrodisiac, although I can't imagine anything more likely to dispel sexual desire than crunching on a partially-formed baby duck swimming in noxious fluid. The embryo in the egg comes in varying stages of development, but basically it is not considered macho to eat one without fully discernable feathers, beak, and claws. Some say these crunchy bits are the best. Others prefer just to drink the so-called 'soup', the vile, pungent liquid that surrounds the aforementioned feathery fetus...excuse me, I have to go and throw up now. I'll be back in a minute. Food dominates the life of the Filipino. People here just love to eat. They eat at least eight times a day. These eight official meals are called, in order: breakfast, snacks, lunch, merienda, pica-pica, pulutan, dinner, and no-one-saw-me-take-that-cookie-from-the-fridge-so-it-doesn't-count. The short gaps in between these mealtimes are spent eating Sky Flakes from the open packet that sits on every desktop. You're never far from food in the Philippines. If you doubt this, next time you're driving home from work, try this game. See how long you can drive without seeing food and I don't mean a distant restaurant, or a picture of food. I mean a man on the sidewalk frying fish balls, or a man walking through the traffic selling nuts or candy. I bet it's less than one minute.

Here are some other things I've noticed about food in the Philippines. Firstly, a meal is not a meal without rice-even breakfast. In the UK, I could go a whole year without eating rice. Second, it's impossible to drink without eating. A bottle of San Miguel just isn't the same without gambas or beef tapa. Third, no one ventures more than two paces from their house without baon and a container of something cold to drink. You might as well ask a Filipino to leave home without his pants on. And lastly, where I come from, you eat with a knife and fork. Here, you eat with a spoon and fork. You try eating rice swimming in fish sauce with a knife.

One really nice thing about Filipino food culture is that people always ask you to SHARE their food. In my office, if you catch anyone attacking their baon, they will always go. "Sir!" KAIN TAYO!" ("Let's eat!"). This confused me, until I realized that they didn't actually expect me to sit

Down and start munching on their boneless bangus. In fact, the polite Response is something like, "No thanks, I just ate." But the principle is sound-if you have food on your plate, you are expected to share it, however hungry you are, with those who may be even hungrier. I think that's great. In fact, this is frequently even taken one step further. Many Filipinos use "Have you eaten yet?" ("KUMAIN KA NA?") As a general greeting, irrespective of time of day or location. Some foreigners think Filipino food is fairly dull compared to other Asian cuisines. Actually lots of it is very good: spicy dishes like Bicol Express (strange, a dish named after a train); anything cooked with coconut milk; anything KINILAW; and anything ADOBO.

And it's hard to beat the sheer wanton, cholesterholic frenzy of a good old-fashioned LECHON de leche feast. Dig a pit, light a fire, add 50 pounds of animal fat on a stick, and cook until crisp. Mmm, mmm... you can actually feel your arteries constricting with each successive mouthful.

I also share one key Pinoy trait ---a sweet tooth. I am thus the only foreigner I know who does not complain about sweet bread, sweet burgers, sweet spaghetti, sweet banana ketchup, and so on. I am a man who likes to put jam on his pizza. Try it! It's the weird food you want to avoid.

Duck fetus in the half-shell, items to avoid in the Philippines include pig's blood soup (DINUGUAN); bull's testicle soup, the strangely-named "SOUP NUMBER FIVE" (I dread to think what numbers one through four are)and the ubiquitous, stinky shrimp paste, BAGOONG, and it's equally stinky sister, PATIS.

Filipinos are so addicted to these latter items that they will even risk arrest or deportation trying to smuggle them into countries like Australia and the USA, which wisely ban the importation of items you can smell from more than 100 paces.

Then there's the small matter of the blue ice cream. I have never been able to get my brain around eating blue food; the ubiquitous UBE leaves me cold.

And lastly on the subject of weird food, beware: that KALDERETANG KAMBING (goat) could well be KALDERETANG ASO (dog)... The Filipino, of course, has a well-developed sense of food.

Here's a typical Pinoy food joke: "I'm on a seafood diet.”What's a seafood diet?" "When I see food, I eat it!"

Filipinos also eat strange bits of animals---the feet, the head, the guts, etc., usually barbecued on a stick. These have been given witty names, like "ADIDAS" (chicken's feet); "KURBATA" (either just chicken's neck, or "neck and thigh" as in "neck-tie"); "WALKMAN" (pigs ears); "PAL" (chicken wings); "HELMET" (chicken head); "IUD" (chicken intestines), and "BETAMAX" (video-cassette-like blocks of animal blood). Yum, yum. Bon appetit.

Amusing Names - Filipino Style

"A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches" -- (Proverbs 22:1)

WHEN I arrived in the Philippines from the UK six years ago, one of the first cultural differences to strike me was names. The subject has provided a continuing source of amazement and amusement ever since.

The first unusual thing, from an English perspective, is that everyone here has a nickname. In the staid and boring United Kingdom, we have nicknames in kindergarten, but when we move into adulthood we tend, I am glad to say, to lose them.

The second thing that struck me is that Philippine names for both girls and >boys tend to be what we in the UK would regard as overbearingly Cutesy for anyone over about five. "Fifty-five-year-olds colleague put it. Where I come from, a boy with a nickname like Boy Blue or Honey Boy would be beaten to death at school by pre-adolescent bullies, and never make it to adulthood. So, probably, would girls with names like Babes, Lovely, Precious, Peachy or Apples. Yuk, ech ech. Here, however, no one bats an eyelid. Then I noticed how many people have what I have come to call "door-bell names". These are nicknames that sound like - well, door-bells. There are millions of them. Bing, Bong, Ding, and Dong are some of the more common. They can be, and frequently are, used in even more door-bell-like combinations such as Bing-Bong, Ding-Dong, Ting-Ting, and so on. Even our newly-appointed chief of police has a doorbell name Ping. None of these door-bell names exist where I come from, and hence sound unusually amusing to my untutored foreign ear. Someone once told me that one of the Bings, when asked why he was called Bing, replied "because my brother is called Bong". Faultless logic.

Dong, of course, is a particularly funny one for me, as where I come from "dong" is a slang word for... well; perhaps "talong" is the best Tagalog equivalent.

Repeating names was another novelty to me, having never before encountered people with names like Len-Len, Let-Let, Mai-Mai, or Ning-Ning. The secretary I inherited on my arrival had an unusual one: Leck-Leck. Such names are then frequently further refined by using the "squared" symbol, as in Len2 or Mai2. This had me very confused for a while. Then there is the trend for parents to stick to a theme when naming their children. This can be as simple as making them all begin with the same letter, as in Jun, Jimmy, Janice, and Joy. More imaginative parents shoot for more sophisticated forms of assonance or rhyme, as in Biboy, Boboy, Buboy, Baboy (notice the names get worse the more kids there are-best to be born early or you could end up being a Baboy). Even better, parents can create whole families of, say, desserts (Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, Honey Pie) or flowers (Rose, Daffodil, Tulip).The main advantage of such combinations is that they look great painted across your trunk if you're a cab driver. That's another thing I'd never seen before coming to Manila -- taxis with the driver's kids' names on the trunk. Another whole eye-opening field for the foreign visitor is the phenomenon of the "composite" name. This includes names like Jejomar(for Jesus, Joseph and Mary), and the remarkable Luzviminda (for Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao, believe it or not). That's a bit like me being called something like "Engscowani" (for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern

Ireland).

Between you and me, I'm glad I'm not. And how could I forget to mention the fabulous concept of the randomly inserted letter 'h'. Quite what this device is supposed to achieve, I have not yet figured out, but I think it is designed to give a touch of class to an otherwise only averagely weird name. It results in creations like Jhun, Lhenn, Ghemma, and Jhimmy. Or how about Jhun-Jhun (Jhun2)?

How boring to come from a country like the UK full of people with names like John Smith. How wonderful to come from a country where imagination and exoticism rule the world of names. Even the towns here have weird names; my favorite is the unbelieveably-named town of Sexmoan (ironically close to Olongapo and Angeles). Where else in the world could that really be

true?

Where else in the world could the head of the Church really be called Cardinal Sin?

Where else but the Philippines!

Note: Philippines has a senator named Joker, and it is his legal name.

No kidding!

courtesy of my notes in facebook

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
* in my own small room

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
*black shirt and pants

3. What is your current problem?
* knowing that tomorrow is monday...school napud??!

4. What makes you happy most?
* no classes, food-siomai, icepop,chocolates, internet, blogging(oftentimes na lang!), feeling of appreciation and admiration (0_o)

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
* paparazzi by lady gaga

6. Any celeb you would marry?
* david cook, taylor lautner, leonardo dicaprio, will smith..

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
*sarah geronimo (see, i'm also born to be a star! )

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
* yah, i sang 'More Than Words' together with my other 3 classmates during our Speech Communication class. It's either we sing or we fail! No choice at all!

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
*no, they always said that a celebrity looked like me! yikes!

10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
* yah, as long as they're not tagalog-dubbed!

11. Do you speak any language?
*uu.. bisaya, tagalog, english

12. Has anyone you've been really close passed away?
* uu..grandmothers

13. Do you ever watch MTV
* yes, before..

14. What's something that really annoys you?
* getting out of something that I really wanted
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Chapter 1
1. Middle name: detablan
2. Nickname(s): ayet, tlyn, irese
3. Current location:Pardo, Cebu City, Philippines
4. Eye color: dark brown

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Chapter 2
1. Do you get along with your parent(s)?:uu
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?: married
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Chapter 3: Favorites
1. Ice Cream:rocky road, chocolate, cookies and cream
2. Season: winter
3. Shampoo/conditioner: cream silk
4. Favorite Thing: cp, desktop, g-tech ballpen, notebook, etc .
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Chapter 4: Do You..
1. Dance in the shower?
* uu..sometimes

2. Do you write on your hand?
* yup if I can't find any paper to write on..

3. Call people back?
* nope..don't have the credits

4. Believe in God?
* uu

5. Any bad habits?
*uu.. can't think of any right now but I have a lot

6. Any mental health issues?
* hmm..let me think about that!!

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Chapter 5: Have You..
1. Sprained stuff?nope
2. Had physical therapy? nope
3. Gotten stitches? nope
4. taken painkillers? nope
5. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling? nope but one day i will
6. Thrown up at the dentist? nope..lol
7. Sworn in front of your parents?nope
8. Had detention? nope

Chaper 6: Who/What was the last
1. Movie(s)?
* -in theatre--> The Transformers: revenge of the fallen
* -in the comfort of my own home--> the Devil Wears Prada

2. Three people you texted?
*can't remember, don't have load for a couple of weeks now..

3. Person you called?
*i haven't even texted anyone! so much for calling someone!

4. Person you hugged?
*karen, julie, ilyn-->during the idiotic fight!

5. Person you tackled?
*none

6. Person you talked to on YM?
*just consider fb, raul(college classmate), shiela(highschool classmate), julie(college classmate)

7. Things you touched?
*uhmm.. mouse, keyboard, speaker,headset... everything!!

8. Food you ate?
*rice, lumpia, siomai..yumyumyum

9. Drinks you drank?
*coke,juice, water

10. Things you said?
*"lagi ma!", "binli ko ug sud-an hap"

11. Person you kissed?
*is kissing your crush's pic on your desktop screen considered?? if yes, then david cook

12. Place you went?
*school, home

Ethileen Unfearlessly Defined...

E-eating is what I do most of the freakin’ time!! It stimulates my taste buds and drives me in the greatest pleasure of life! As what they always say,“Di bale nang matakaw, wag lang gutom”

T-the foods I’m crazy about:
Siomai- I consider myself the “Siomai Queen”.
Burger-this is what I always order in the school canteen every afternoon if I have the bucks together with the next stuff...
Icepop-my favorite since I was still a fetus!I may have exaggerated myself but my childhood days would not be complete without this treat.
Lasagna-I haven't tried this Italian dish! Believe me, it's true!I've just seen this on magazines and TV cooking shows and it's really inviting so one day, I want to try the best lasagna!ever!!
Chocolate-for most people including me consider this as..HEAVEN except for those sugar-problematics and health-conscious species but for me..a chocolate a day,is 7 chocolates a week!

H-hair for ladies are their crowning glory but for me, it's the other way around! It's my shameless crown!I really hate my stiff, dry hair!I even have white hairs!gggrrr...! In need of hair treatment!

I-indoor jerk is what I always am! I just try my best to do stuffs even though I'm at home but it's kinda boring sometimes so I would go out of the house and find something entertaining, like updating my blogspot account!!hehe!

L-living in the Philippines in the next 5 years is not my thing! I want to explore everything outside the borders of my country!It's not that I'm not nationalistic but for me, this is my dream and I want it so bad!I want to experience other countries' culture,the snow and all those stuff that this country can't offer! NO OFFENSE

E-entertainment is what I'm not bored of! whether in the field of showbiz, games and gadgets or just the ordinary hour of watching a show on TV!I just want to be ...entertained just to kill the boredom.

E-evening is my favorite time of the day!I got the chance to give time to myself, do all the necessary works for tomorrow and it's the time when I can get my good night sleep!

N-nothing can stop me in doing what I want!I have my dreams and ambitions already prepared and I want all of these to come true and I know I can do all of these with flying colors! my motto??-Dream big!

dream checklist revealed

Wishes and Dreams that already came true and that are coming true!

1. Meet and greet David Cook.
*2. Have an all-seafood meal.
3. Attend a royal masquerade ball.
4. Wear a Korean traditional costume.
5. Do dubbing! just wanna torture my voice.
6. Be part of a famous, top-rating show.
7. Go beyond the borders of the Philippines!
*8. Get a hair, face and nail treatment!
9. Win in any raffle draw.
10.Have my own sweet home.
11.Create a program that will make me famous in the field of programming. Just to be named 'The female version of Bjarne Stroustrup' is really ok for me!
12.Shop at Hongkong , Singapore and Japan!
13.Visit Hollywood.
*14.Cook a sumptuous meal.
15.Have my own white,elegant laptop!

LEGEND: * - already came true

Reminiscing highschool friends